...is much better. Now that Miles is full term and can come any day now, I feel a sense of relief and excitement that just wasn't there last week. I was able to get out and take some pictures of things I've made recently for Miles (which was a lot of fun). Any day now, my little boy (!) will be wearing this outfit. There's no way that couldn't make any emotional pregnant lady feel better! :)
Last night I found a link through BabyCenter to a live birth. A couple had set up a session through, I'm guessing, their hospital and were broadcasting the whole thing. It was really well done, didn't show anything sketchy at all, and was absolutely amazing. Victor came in and started watching it with me (all on his own!) after he heard those first few cries. We both just sat there, quiet and amazed, while the reality of what's about to happen sunk in even more. For him especially. He walked out of the room, got our smallest dog, Audrey, came back and sat next to me and just sighed. He almost had tears in his eyes. "This just got real for me." He had a happy, small smile on his face. It was a very precious moment. I think we just sat there for a few minutes before snapping back to "now" and both saying, "We're SO not ready!" :)
Miles is now somewhere in the neighborhood of 19-20 inches long. Most places I'm reading from say babies at this stage are just over 6 pounds, but I'm pretty sure Miles is more than that, since at 34 weeks he was 5 lbs 5 oz (at best guess). Babies put on about a half pound each week, so I'm guessing he's closer to 7lbs. Hopefully not more. :)
He's fully baked, and ready to make an appearance any moment. It's a crazy thing living with that knowledge. It's an electric, exciting and slightly unnerving feeling that makes going out a whole new ballgame. We're about to go to WalMart, and I've already got a game plan in mind if my water should break. Granted, all of this will likely not happen for another week to three weeks, but I want to be prepared. I am so excited! Waking up every morning is a little more exciting than the morning before. Will today be the day? What might happen? HOW will it happen? Am I packed and ready?
37 weeks. Thirty-seven weeks. It's gone by so fast, and one of life's most altering experiences is upon us. I am about to be called to be someone other than I have been my entire life. I am about to become a mother. And Victor, my husband - that guy I met so many years ago with whom I have acted like a total kid myself - is about to be a father. We, together, are about to be charged with the greatest responsibility I know of; the care and faithful upbringing of a life that has been trusted to us by God. Um... WOAH! That is big. Very big. And scary. And one heck of an adventure that is gonna rock our worlds. The closer I get to my due date, the more intensely I want to hold my baby, to stare at his face and dream about our life together. We may be poor, we may be riddled with flaws and nasty imperfections, but I'll tell you what - this baby is going to be loved so much. And that love will demonstrate itself not only in words but in actions. And one of those first actions that I am most eagerly anticipating is kissing all over his face and tummy. :) I can't wait to see him smile. I can't wait to smell him after a bath. I can't wait to wrap him up in a blanket and sit with him snuggled between me and Victor on the couch. I can't wait to watch him sleep. But even more, I can't wait to share with him the riches of life that God has blessed us with. The seasons, and how each is special and unique, the smell of fun things made in the kitchen, the thrill of just being a boy - mixing, mashing and making a mess, the comfort of a warm hug and kind word, and the peace of knowing that he has a maker who made all of these things possible, and did so just for him.
Oh yah. Life's about to get a little sweeter. :)